The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have: A Valentines Day Post
A few months back, I was delighted to hear one of my fashion and business idols, Diane Von Furstenburg, speak at an event. She had a slew of wise words to share, some of which I have shared before. But this one thing she kept saying has stuck with me like super glue. I often find myself thinking about it, and even more so with Valentine’s Day around the corner. Diane was, as you probably could have guessed, asked to share a piece of advice for success in life to all the women in the room. She said there is one thing she tells every woman she gets to speak with, and that is, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself.
She continued coming back to this thought throughout the “interview style” event. She explained that to be most successful in life as a whole, whether it’s in business or in a romantic or platonic relationship, you have to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself. She explained how her confidence, independence and self-love got her though all of her hardest times; times when she was doubted in work, times when her ideas were shot down because she was a woman, times when she was treated as inferior. She went on to explain how a huge part of her success was that she never let these things get to her. Why? Because she had a healthy, loving and supportive relationship with herself. She didn’t let someone’s doubt of her get in the way of her thoughts and ideas. She continued to push past the haters, even when the only person she had to lean on was herself. Again, why? Because she believed in herself, she encouraged herself, she loved herself.
I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. Not because I don’t think love should be celebrated, but because of the unnecessary pressures this holiday puts on our society, and especially on single women. I’ve been through plenty of single Valentine’s Days, but even this year, when I am not, I don’t acknowledge the holiday except to talk to ya’ll about my feelings on it. No flowers, fancy dinners or gifts allowed in this house. Again, I will reiterate that I have nothing against this holiday! I think love should be celebrated every single day and February 14th is no exception.
What I DO think is that February 14th puts serious pressure on our society to be coupled off. Why is it that the only love acknowledged on this day is the love between romantic partners? I want to see more of the Galentine’s Days, (love that this has become such a big thing the past few years) the celebration of love between friends, between family (dogs included, duh) and most importantly, the celebration of love with the most important person in your life, you.
I have a hard time with this holiday because I think it has the tendency to make single people feel inadequate simply for being single. Why do we not celebrate the love we have with and for ourselves more? I think loving ourselves, working on ourselves and our relationships with ourselves is something so important and something we should be proud of. Be proactive to be your best self, whatever that may mean for you. I truly believe that once we love ourselves fully and are happy in who we are, we have the ability to be fully happy in other parts of our lives, relationships included.
Let’s jump back to Diane for a moment. That day, she continued to return to this thought of having a great relationship with yourself. One thing I found so interesting and loved hearing her talk about was her relationship with her husband and how that stemmed from, foremost, having a great relationship with herself. She explained that they have a close bond and love for each other, but also have extremely independent lives, are both total bosses running huge businesses and in turn, a lot of their time is spent apart. She explained that the key to this relationship and being secure, even when apart, is the love and appreciation they both have for themselves. Because of this deep understanding, they are able to care for each other better.
I wanted to share this with you this week to highlight the importance of finding love within ourselves to be the best we can be on our own and also, be the best we can be for our friends, family and partner at some point if we choose. Whether you are single or not… I want to take the focus this week off of romantic relationships and encourage you all to take the time (this week and always) to love yourself, nurture yourself, find your most secure and confident self. Your happiness is the most important thing. I hope we can all find the time we need to focus on us. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary. I am by no means an expert on love, a certified therapist or a relationship guru, but I thought to myself, what a beautiful way to look at things. So for that, thank you Diane for the wise words and lovely perspective. Have a happy day, a happy week & a happy February 14th
xx Ali
PS! Shoutout to an awesome local, female run business!!! While I’m not all about V-Day, I am all about a killer PJ set… This gorgeous, silk, red pajama & robe set I’m wearing in this post is from local, female founded and run, Felice Donna. Felice Donna was founded upon the principle that women should feel just as beautiful inside their homes as they do outside of them. All the pieces are handcrafted with Italian silk. In Italian, Felice (fe-li-che) Donna means "Happy Woman." They truly believe that every woman deserves to be happy and have time for herself. Y’all know I’m all for supporting local and supporting female owned business so I’m so happy to share more about this company with you!
You can find the Robes here and the Pajama sets here. Use code: LOVESILK for 15% off!